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October 2009 
It is hard to be heard when you are trying so hard!
Posted on Jun 5th, 2008
by 
Kate
Kate
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 05, 2008:
Does it have to be aural listening?
I really don't know the last time someone wasn't thinking about what they were going to say next when I was talking. How ironic. Just the other day I was telling my mom to try an exercise before she decided to get into Reiki. She has a terrible habit of not really listening and never remembers anything people say because of this. I told her to try actually listening and not thinking about what she was doing or going to say next. It is such a common character flaw and of course I am not saying that I don't do the same!
The last time someone heard what I had to say was here on Gaia. I love it here because people come to me when they are ready to hear what I say. It reminds me of my rehearsal with Gabriel, the ever so wonderful pianist that has so much wisdom to share. He said to me (paraphrased)
...there are two types of performers or performances: one says, "Here I am! Hear me play!" and the other one quietly makes the listener come to YOU when they are ready. "draw the listener in," he said.
I'd prefer the later.
I really don't know the last time someone wasn't thinking about what they were going to say next when I was talking. How ironic. Just the other day I was telling my mom to try an exercise before she decided to get into Reiki. She has a terrible habit of not really listening and never remembers anything people say because of this. I told her to try actually listening and not thinking about what she was doing or going to say next. It is such a common character flaw and of course I am not saying that I don't do the same!
The last time someone heard what I had to say was here on Gaia. I love it here because people come to me when they are ready to hear what I say. It reminds me of my rehearsal with Gabriel, the ever so wonderful pianist that has so much wisdom to share. He said to me (paraphrased)
...there are two types of performers or performances: one says, "Here I am! Hear me play!" and the other one quietly makes the listener come to YOU when they are ready. "draw the listener in," he said.
I'd prefer the later.
Access: Public
Kate, what a beautiful way to answer this question. People do come when they're ready to listen. When I was younger there was always a voice in my head talking, talking, talking….trying to figure out what to say next…..not really being present and just listening. Somewhere along the line I began to feel validated and worthwhile, and then it was no longer necessary to be thinking what to say next. Although–ha ha–there are still times when it happens. But it's easier to recognize and smile and then just go back to being present in the next moment. Thank you for sharing this. Kathy
There is a lot of noise in the conversations we have in this world. Some people as you and Kathy correctly point out are waiting for their chance to speak, while others just don't have a substantive bone in their bodies and do not know how to respond to a real question with anything other than cliche.
The nice part about blogging is that it is a message in a bottle of sorts. You write a message, stuff a bottle, set it adrift, and someone finds it and perhaps responds.
Reminded me of a song lyric for some reason by a band called Bad Religion:
Your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying…